The Universe Disintegrated My Kitchen, and Other Inconveniences

When Bill’s toaster explodes and his entire kitchen vanishes in a perfectly straight line, he assumes it is going to be a bad day. He does not assume it is the opening move in a cosmic prosecution. Within minutes he is served an official notice from the Galactic Bureau of Existential Sanctions, accused of crimes against continuity, and informed that his life is being uninstalled in stages. Unfortunately for the Bureau, they have confused him with BILL-47, a legendary war criminal with a fondness for destroying star systems. Unfortunately for Bill, the Bureau does not acknowledge mistakes.

Dragged aboard the least impressive spaceship in the galaxy and forced to defend himself in a trial where paperwork outranks truth, Bill discovers that innocence is the most destabilising concept in the universe. When the real BILL-47 finally appears and heads straight for Earth, the Bureau decides the safest solution is also the worst one: use ordinary, undercaffeinated Bill as bait. To survive, clear his name, and restore his bright yellow kitchen, Bill must outmanoeuvre an intergalactic bureaucracy that would rather rewrite reality than admit it filed the wrong form.