The Hielamen Universe - The 2nd Trilogy

Hielamen has survived dragons, destiny, bureaucracy, and the general incompetence of the universe. Unfortunately, none of that has prepared him for The Red Barn. What begins as an isolated roadside establishment with questionable hospitality becomes a spectacular monument to terrible decisions, complete with Madam Timtam, Madam Cinta, traumatised truckies, “premium experiences,” mysterious screaming, and Scotty Volvo, a man being kept alive by technology that appears to have been assembled from plumbing supplies, vodka, prune juice, and spite. _The Hielamen Trilogy The One A…

Then somebody introduces a gerbil. From there, civilisation never really recovers. Between escaped rodents, homicidal geese, influencers filming everything, catastrophic business ventures, trauma franchising, a Melbourne GooseHaus launch, and a seminar apparently devoted to the dental hygiene of sharks, Hielamen once again finds himself surrounded by people who desperately need supervision. The 2nd Hielamen Trilogy takes the glorious insanity of the first trilogy, turns every dial past sensible, and asks the only question that matters: how much nonsense can one permanently unimpressed man endure before he finally tells the entire universe to piss off?